I've always used vs in my blog titles and that is because everything I've written about has been a battle. Some trivial - like reading a certain number of books in a year and some more serious - like raising children in the right way. This, however is the first time I've put a 2 in the post. It is still a battle but what scares me is the thought of not stopping at 2. What if I get to 22 or 102.
Everyone around me is telling me to take it easy and look after yourself. These two (there's that number again) things seem very difficult when you spend your whole life putting yourself at the back of the queue, which is how this whole debacle started and having such a chaotic life (doctors words) that you mistake taking a break as boredom or restlessness. I just don't relax. My life right now runs on adrenaline. The problem is I'm spent.
A third question is how does one recover from depression or anxiety when most of the time you feel great because you have removed yourself from the pressure situations . How do you prepare yourself for returning to that, to go over the top, to jump from the frying pan into the fire?
These are the questions infesting my mind while many others are just thinking about what to have for tea or how they are going to occupy the kids at the weekend.
As with every battle I have to believe I can win but not just for me but the people around me (theres that need to put others first again).
Love you all
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