Stu vs mental health

This being mental health awareness week I thought it poignant that I share my own struggles. You never think it will happen to you, affect you that it is someone else's problem.

Last year I came to realise that something was wrong but I was unwilling to share my burden. Maybe if no one knew I could pretend that it didn't exist. Surely that would make it easier. It didn't. Pure and simple. I opened up. People didn't judge me but when I was offered more help I was in a better place and refused it.

I didnt need it. I was fixed... or so I thought. Over the last 12 months things have gone downhill. It was affecting every aspect of my life now and affecting those around me. I was unsure of the triggers but felt broken. A shell of my former self and embarrassed to admit I needed serious help. However I Have now found help in the unlikeliest of places.

Told I need to share how I'm feeling, I decided to start blogging about my recovery and share how I'm feeling each day.

Today is my first day off work, I left last night asking my replacement to fix the wrongs I'd done this year and when I woke up I felt raw, a failure that I'd let it get this far. I know I have to change my mentality and I hope doing this will help. I hope my journey will help others seek help. I know I'm not alone even if at times it feels that way.

Until my next random collection of thoughts I'll sign off